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Joke of the Day

"How do you have sex with a vegetable? Ask if they want to-mate-O."

"today I matched speeds with a car on the highway so I could make eye contact with a dog in the backseat"

"Blood types They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type O."

"I just opened a new christian restaurant called ""The Lord Giveth"" We also do takeaway."

"5 DAYS AGO I was bit by a spider, and STILL, no super-powers. Comics lie."

"Shout out to my sweatpants for loving me through thick and thicker."

"A: Knock knock... B: Who's there? A: Gas station security, you tore down a poster in a bathroom, give us the money in your wallets or we'll shoot you"

"What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of an abortion clinic? Going inside to ask for a coat hanger."

"How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One."

"so an athlete tries doping for the first time for not getting caught, he runs slow."