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Joke of the Day

"What did E.T.'s mother say when E.T. got home? ""Where on Earth have you been??!!"" **Thank you, I'll be here all night... Edit: Thanks for da love Dr. Jones!"

"Man from Nantucket There once was a man from Nantucket Was writing a Limerick but said, ""Fuck it."""

"Racist: What sign appears on abortion clinics in black communities? ""Crime Prevention Center"""

"What do you call a transvestite postal worker? a mail lady"

"When my girlfriend's done wrong it's written all over her face. I have a flair for the dramatic, so I use a red pen."

"A masochist and a sadist are doing their thing... The masochist says: ""Hit me"" and the sadist answers: ""no..."""

"Whosoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in big trouble... You have my Word."

"I await the announcement that Trump's running mate will be Charlie Sheen."

"What do call a poor black man listening to classical music? A Baroque nigga."

"What do you call an English teacher who used to have anxiety? Past tense."