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Joke of the Day

"Q: what did one ass cheek say to the other? A: together we can stop this shit"

"I can't fall asleep right now, I'm too busy counting how many hours of sleep I will get if I fall asleep right now."

"Teenage daughter called me an old fart. We both laughed and then I changed the password to our wifi."

"Have you heard the tagline for the new Ghostbusters movie? Now with 400% more bust!"

"A white lie: ""No dear, your bum doesn't look big in those jeans""."

"The next time I see a feminist say ""Kill all men""... I'll just reply ""Valar dohaeris""."

"Vending machines kill more people every year than sharks Obviously, how's a vending machine going to kill a shark?"

"Syria has appealed for international assistance today, after a boatload of 500 Greeks arrived seeking a better life."

"How do you contact a cross dresser? Shemail"

"It's hard to have a Polaroid camera and not seem ""kidnappy""."