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Joke of the Day

"Need help with a joke!!! Not sure if this is allowed, but I need a joke that involves the word ""statesmen"" for a contest with my friends. Please help!"

"Why do dwarf's laugh while playing football? Because the grass tickles their balls."

"Being OCD and an optimist, I see the glass half full but I measure to make sure it's EXACTLY half."

"Did you hear about the mexican train killer? He had locomotives."

"Last night my girlfriend fell asleep before me, so I decided to lick her pussy until she woke up. This morning she asked why the cat seemed afraid of me."

"A jewish kid asks his dad for $20 His dad replies: $10!?!... What do you need $5 for?"

"An ad at the zoo: Don't scare the ostriches! The floors are concrete!'"

"Read about that farmer who lost a whole load of crops when crossing the river. Turns out his boat was full of leeks."

"The police were easily able to identify Will Smith as the killer. He left fresh prints."

"Of all the things ""Inside Amy Schumer""... ..why can't any of them be funny?"