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Joke of the Day

"A Burglar got into the house of a Lawyer the other day... After a terrible struggle, the Lawyer succeeded in robbing him."

"I asked my trainer ""Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?"" He pointed outside and said ""The ATM machine"" [ c/o /u/jubileo5 ]"

"Who was Mako Mori's existentialist monk brother? Memento."

"no soap, radio."

"And on Good Friday, I'm once again reminded that I'm a lonely virgin. Even Jesus got nailed today."

"Daughter asked me she wants to feel like a princess so I forced her on a marriage with a man she's never met to secure our alliance with the French."

"Why did the Native American undergo cellular respiration? To make A TP"

"What does the floor of my house and a girl with a partial nudity fetish have in common? They both feel a lot wetter when Ive got socks on."

"My cow won't give any milk... She is an udder failure."

"What did one casket say to the other casket? ""Is that you coughin?"""