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Joke of the Day

"A three legged dog walks into a bar... Goes up to the bartender and says ""I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."""

"""I want the box where I poop to smell like my poop or else I won't want to poop there. Whoa whoa, not THAT much like my poop! Jesus!"" - cats"

"Just finished my Sexual Violence Prevention and Awareness Training. It was very informative and I feel much safer. Plus I totally raped the quiz at the end, 100%."

"What do rodents with an inclination towards mathematics use for their auctioning needs? thepiratebay"

"Some mathematicians are on the negative side, While others are quite positive."

"Did you know that Erwin Schrodinger's funeral was closed casket? He was buried (|Dead> + |Alive>) / sqrt(2)"

"I'd tell you the joke about the paper But it's tearable."

"Reddit CEO Ellen Pao is such a .. [Deleted]"

"(Anxiety/Depression joke) I'm always exhausted... except for my nervous energy."

"What do you call a wolf that's aware of its surroundings? Awarewolf"