113506

Joke of the Day

"David Cameron Went to his local butcher. He asked the butcher for a steak. The butcher asked ""what is your favourite cut?"", David replied, ""the public sector""."

"Today I met one of those people on the bus that gets all pissed off when you put your finger in their mouth when they yawn."

"What is Bruce Jenner's nephew's favorite movie? Aunt Man"

"Went by the bank today and the female teller was flirting with me which was weird considering she saw my account balance."

"I want to write ""I miss you"" on a rock and throw it at your face so that you'll know how much it hurts to miss you."

"Why do gas prices end with 9/10 of a penny? It just makes cents."

"Did you hear about the epileptic who won the dance contest? He only got up to get a drink."

"What do pizzas and blow jobs have in common... Even when there a bit shit, there still pretty fucking good."

"Girlfriend: Have you ever been with a fat chick? Me: Nope, you're the first one. Gf: What? Me: What?"

"I was going to make a sheep joke But it just came out baaaaaaaad"