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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar... A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: ""A beer please, and one for the road."""

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"How Do they say ""F**k You"" in Hollywood? ""Trust Me..."""
"Why did the Anti vaccinator leave the solar system? Because he found mercury in it."
"I'm more than happy to take your sloppy seconds. Who am I kidding, I'll take corroded fourteenths."
"What is the temperature of the average coffin? 6 Below"
"""Do you have this in beige?"" - old people"
"me: siri, clear my evening appointments, i've got a date tonight. siri: ""lol yeah ok. beep boop beep. gotcha."""
"Why did the chicken droid NOT cross the road? Because it had a bad motivator!"
"Guaranteed best way way for anyone to catch a Bird.(pour salt on it) Because If you pour salt on it, your close enough to just pick it up."
"As I rowed my little boatToward the river shore,A small black bird kept me from landing,Quoth the raven, ""never moor."""