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Joke of the Day

"Did you know you can tell the gender of an ant by throwing it in water? If it sinks, girl ant. If it floats, buoyant."

"I feel old whenever someone tells me they were born in the 90's."

"[Burger Lounge] Server: Are you 27? Me: OMG NO I'M 39 THANK U SO MUCH U MADE MY DAY Server: I meant your order number, ma'am."

"On the bright side, smoking cigarettes reduces the risk of winning a marathon."

"Why the patriots deflated 11 balls out of 12? because they knew the ""12"" will be deflated during/after Superbowl."

"Getting laid for me is like getting ketchup out of a bottle easy if i have a knife"

"When people say things like ""You can't change the past"" I can't help but wonder what it must be like to have that brilliant of a mind."

"Reception Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The wedding sucked! But, the reception was AWESOME!"

"What's the difference between jokes and dicks? Your mother can't take 3 jokes at the same time."

"What has one hundred balls and screws old ladies? Bingo"