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Joke of the Day

"Wake up, kids! Bees can't even read, much less spell. IT'S A SCAM!"

"Q: How can you tell when Bill Clinton is telling a lie by looking at his face? A: If his lips are moving then he's lying."

"[Dirty] What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry escaped the chamber."

"Why don't auto repair shops fix golf carts? Because they work with parts for cars, not carts for pars."

"The Largest Organ **Q:** What's the largest organ in the human body? **A:** That depends. If you've just swallowed a Steinway and a Wurlitzer, it's probably the Steinway."

"whenever u hear a creak at night, dont wory its nothimg scary! its just a reminder that somthing u think is solid like a house actualy moves"

"Decided to plant some marijuana seeds in my vegetable garden hoping I could come up with some dope beets."

"Russian computer: ""Enter password"" Me: ""Beef stew"" Russian computer: ""Password not stroganoff"""

"I met up with two friends of mine. One of them asked me what did I do yesterday, and I said I watched Rashomon. But the second friend had a different story."

"It's nice finding people from our past. I'm still trying to find the girl from elementary school that couldn't stop sucking her thumb."