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Joke of the Day

"ad for a wife A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted."" Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ""You can have mine."""

"What's great when you're at work, and terrible when you're in bed? Getting off early"

"Pretty sure autocorrect and Siri talk shit about me behind my back."

"What do you call a religious person who gets into x rated movies, but then stops watching them, but then starts watching them again later on? A porn again christian."

"I seasoned my beef with too much salt I'm salty."

"I once knew a guy named Rob. I once new a guy named Rob, for a dollar he would suck on your knob. For a half dollar more, you could get the whole score And he would eat it like it was his job"

"I've just been to the Travel agents to pick up my spending money for my trip to Greece. How the hell am I going to get these 100 goats onto the plane?"

"(NSFW) What do a girl's asshole and a 9 volt battery have in common? You know it's wrong, but eventually you have to put your tongue on it."

"I made a belt out of watches. It was a waist of time."

"-I'm just gonna have 1 drink before dinner -I'm just gonna have 1 drink with dinner -I'm just gnna hav 1 aftdinr drk -I pishd ma pnts gen"