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Joke of the Day
"""Any minute now. Any minute..."" -Lincoln Logs, waiting for a phone call from Hollywood"
Next Joke
"You know why the undertaker was fired? He made a grave mistake."
"I tried ""Netflix and chill?"" on my wife. We're now on season 3 of Gilmore Girls."
"My wife has developed a fetish with salad items... Earlier today she spent an hour trying to force a lettuce into my ass. And that was just the tip of the iceburg"
"My friend is like a Jew during WWII In the closet."
"I wonder if racist families have that one liberal uncle who gets drunk at Thanksgiving and goes on about how Obama is DEFINITELY American."
"A gift card that only allows the user to purchase more gift cards until they finally go insane."
"DATE: so what kind of writing do you do? ME: um, cursive, regular... DATE: no I mean- ME: actually I can't do cursive :/"
"Older son just taught me something that I didn't know. Apparently, the seat behind ""shotgun"" is known as ""Kurt Cobain."""
"Remember when America used to be cool... .... Yeah, me neither."