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Joke of the Day

"Boss: Where's the progress report I asked u for Me: I haven't made any progress that's my report What I imagine it'd be like if I had a job"

"What soft drink did Hitler ban during WWII? Mountain Jew."

"I bet some astronomers can't tell black holes apart because they're racists."

"Why were the people in the twin towers so upset? They ordered pepperoni and all they got was plane"

"What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? ""I love you a ton!"""

"One women's ""oh hell no that's gross"" is another women's ""oh please do that again""."

"Like my Father always said, ""I put my ass kicking boots on every morning"" ""Then after a long day of getting my ass kicked, I come home from work and take them off."""

"What did they do to the burger who thought he was a rooster? Cook-a-doodle-do!"

"Why do most movie sequels stink? Because movie makers are basically doing a number 2."

"I get a lot of compliments on my stamp collection but philately will get you nowhere."