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Joke of the Day

"America's Got (a very loose definition of what constitutes) Talent."

"What's the difference between a nail and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang a painting."

"Illegal immigration is not a new problem. Native Americans used to call it ""White People"""

"A Recent Study Found That... ...Christian women tend to become atheists after marriage. I don't find that surprising. After marriage, a woman does lose faith in a man's ability to come a second time."

"Did you ever hear about the vegan, the atheist, and the crossfitter who walked into a bar together? I don't know how you haven't heard about them, they told everyone."

"There's no way to look cool when the doctor walks into your exam room just as you're blowing up a rubber glove."

"The bartender says ""Sorry, we don't make that here."" Quentin Tarantino walks into a bar. He gets up and leaves. He takes a seat and orders a Polynesian Pearl Diver."

"Fear not, ugly caterpillar. For one day you will become a beautiful butterfly [emerges from cocoon] AH WTF I'M A MOTH THIS IS BULLSHIT"

"A man went to the register with only a box of condoms. The cashier asked 'Sir, do you want a bag?' He replied 'No thanks, she's not that ugly'"

"Nervous around the person you like? Sue them. They'll be forced to see you in court, well dressed & in control. Let the law be your wingman."