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Joke of the Day

"I was shocked to walk in on my son playing with his privates... Those toy soldiers were supposed to be his surprise birthday gift..."

"It might be good at board games, but don't let DeepMind handle your video camera. It's been known to trash Go Pros"

"There is a 'you can kill them if you catch them within a minute' rule on people who wake you up. EVERYONE knows that. *sharpening knife*"

"God Plays Golf"

"What's the difference between having a job and being a homeless drug addict? One takes over your life and turns you into brainless zombie and the other one makes you homeless."

"Did you hear about the Feminist gun? She got triggered."

"How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Twelve, you got a problem with that?"

"What do you call a helpful potato? A Facilitater"

"What did the grapes say to their parents after they put them into a nursing home? Thanks for raisin us"

"Jesus is a deadbeat dad Said he'd be coming back soon 2000 years ago and we're still waiting."