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Joke of the Day

"I'm drafting a plan to make more guy friends. So far all I have is ""Don't say ""super"" as often"" and ""Talk about beards."" I'm super jazzed."

"My girlfriend is a midget and I'm nuts over her"

"Jason Russel's been caught masturbating in public? Well, I guess it was Kony a matter of time before he fucked up."

"What's the difference between a refugee and E.T? E.T learned English and wanted to go home"

"There are two types of people in the world There are those that can extrapolate from incomplete data."

"Why is the sea so strong? It has a lot of mussels."

"69 I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"I don't care what anybody says, my six hours of Black Friday shopping saved me at least $7.50."

"Did you know Jesus had a Ford That's why he walked everywhere"

"I hope I'm never behind Johnny Depp going through airport security. Watching him take off all those accessories would be sad."