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Joke of the Day
"""Rocky, come here, good boy. Sit down. Sit in the sofa...siiitttt!!!"" said Sean Connery."
Next Joke
"I'm not racist, my best friend is gay."
"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster chef and a prostitute with diarrhea? One shucks between fits."
"Just ate a Hot Pocket filled with pasta alfredo because my body is a landfill and I don't ever want a husband"
"I was eating BBQ ribs and my waitress asked me if I wanted a wet nap... ...I told her it wasn't necessary because I had one earlier today."
"I like to stand in crowded elevators facing the wrong way with a confused look on my face, and finally exclaim, ""Oh, it's an ELEVATOR."""
"What did the Nazi say to the clock that only went: ""tick ____ tick ____ tick ____"" ? ""Ve have Vays of making you tock!"""
"Q: How many Studio Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: We don't know. Light bulbs last longer than studio executives."
"My exercise is primarily jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth and pushing my luck."
"I won't do standup right now... Let me wipe my ass first."