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Joke of the Day
"It sucks not being miserable enough to bust out a good tweet."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a group of midget spies and a women's track team? One is a cunning group of runts."
"What kind of tree grows in your hand? A palm tree."
"I just sold all my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay Imagine all the PayPal"
"What does a gay horse eat? Haaaaay."
"Mickey Mouse and Minnie are in divorce court... The judge asks, ""So what's going on Mickey, is she just crazy or something?"" Mickey replies, ""No, your Honor. She's fucking Goofy."""
"Walked in on the big pillow in bed with my favorite blanket. Feel so betrayed."
"The ethernet is used to catch the etherbunny."
"I don't lie. I have, however, invented my own language which uses a lot of the same words as English but with somewhat altered meanings."
"What do you get when you cross Prince Charles and the Queen? Killed in a tunnel."