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Joke of the Day

"""U put on suntan lotion?"" ""No"" ""Youll get sunburned!"" *sun descends, his voice echoes loudly* ""NICE BICEPS BRO, UR LIL SISTER LOAN EM TO U?"""

"So impolite of people to sneak up on you while you're talking shit about them."

"Today I have learnt - if you try and give someone the finger whilst wearing mittens, you are basically just showing them your mittens."

"If I had a dollar for every time a girl told me I was unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive. ba dum tsss"

"Bjerg is so fly That he's sren"

"*downloads Pinterest *pins tutorial on how to uninstall Pinterest *uninstalls"

"DEAR ENTIRE WORLD: LIGHTENING IS WHAT BLEACH DOES TO HAIR. LIGHTNING IS WHAT I'M GOING TO STRIKE YOU WITH FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST SPELLING."

"Dear Sir, I am writing this with a heavy heart. Sorry it's so hard to read I should really find a pen"

"What is Beethoven's favorite food? Ba-Na-Na-NAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"I thought of having a threesome But then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents"