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Joke of the Day

"What do nine out of ten people agree on? Gang rape."

"Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me. now if i were a diamond ring, where would i hide ..."

"What service did Michael Jackson use to do his taxes? Pay-To-File"

"Hey NSA... I accidentally deleted an email... Can I get you to forward me your copy?"

"The NSA: The only part of government that actually listens"

"Sometimes one middle finger isn't enough to let someone know how you feel. That's why you have two hands."

"Paddy's firework party was a complete disaster. ""I don't understand it!"" He said. ""They all worked fine when I tried them yesterday,"""

"I like my sentences like I like my women: awkward but with good colon usage and regular periods."

"Your screenshots of text message conversations tell me: 1. you have a great sense of humor 2. to never trust you."

"Between Trump and Clinton, who is more likely to start a nuclear war if elected president? America, with the missiles aimed at ourselves."