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Joke of the Day
"Thank god my brother's getting his PhD, I was running out of ways to disappoint my parents."
Next Joke
"Not sure which is worse, the CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch saying he doesn't want ugly people wearing his clothes or that people still wear A&F"
"What's the worst part of locking your keys in your car at an abortion clinic parking lot? Having to go inside and ask for a coathanger."
"*dresses like a kitty* *climbs tree* *waits for new fireman husband to come rescue me*"
"My dyslexic uncle was suicidal... He kept jumping behind trains"
"In light of Wednesday in Texas Talk about a clock block."
"Some girl is stalking me & has been telling ppl I'm her boyfriend. I'm flattered but I prefer to be the psychotic one in the relationship"
"The theme song for my sex life is ""With or Without You."""
"in these hard times, it's crucial to stay as positive as Charlie Sheen"
"President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time."