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Joke of the Day
"I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?"
Next Joke
"what do you call a fraction where the numerator is bigger than the denominator?(dirty joke) missionary position."
"If Jesus loves me how come he's never liked a single one of my instagram selfies"
"Ivan, 12, after breaking the vase and realizing he'll be punished anyway, sold the TV, got high and ordered some escorts."
"Life is like a box of chocolates Everyone hates the dark ones"
"Two trained soldiers were in a tank... They both drowned."
"Two of my favourite moments in my life were when I won my first fight and lost my virginity I hit him so hard he slept through the whole thing"
"As a farmer I've heard lots of jokes about sheep. I told them to my dog but he'd heard them all."
"Yah I ordered a large pizza but it's thin crust/ light cheese so basically it's a salad ."
"[visit to zoo] See kids? All these animals have to live here in cages because they woke daddy up early one time."