111747

Joke of the Day

"There are two kinds of friends: 1. Friends with benefits 2. Friends with potential."

"Having mutual friends with someone does not mean you should add them on Facebook. It's like a stranger knocking on your door and saying, ""Hey we both know Mike, John, and Sara. You mind if I come in?"

"Did you know that national middle child day was last week? Yeah... Nobody else did either..."

"Cops: COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM Invisible Hands Adam: shit"

"Why should you never tell jokes on the ice? The ice might crack up! I use this at the beginning of conversations... it's a reall ice breaker."

"Thanks to yesterday's chili, I can definitively tell you that there are 242 tiles in this bathroom stall."

"Felons would be a really valuable voting base... After all, we know they have conviction."

"I think I saw Michael J Fox in a gardening centre earlier... It was hard to tell, he had his back to the Fuchsias."

"What did Keanu Reeves say to slow down his horse? Whoa."

"When I see a ""How am I driving?"" sticker, I want to take the driver in my arms and tell them that I too have questions about my existence"