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Joke of the Day

"Hotel guest to desk clerk: ""I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."" Desk clerk: ""No, it's regular porn you sick fuck."""

"Canceling my subscription!! I'm tired of your issues."

"I ate everything, including the H."

"using microsoft word *moves an image 1 mm to the left* all text and images shift. 4 new pages appear. in the distance, sirens."

"I treat women well cause I'm a real man. Also, if I'm nice to them maybe they'll come over and kill this spider for me"

"When you go toe to toe with a Vietnamese Mexican... You either nguyen or you luz."

"What do women and the square root of 2 have in common? They're both irrational."

"Yeah, I'm allergic to wheat, but I really like it so I eat it anyway. I'm a real gluten for punishment."

"What did Jesus say after he was resurrected? Nailed it"

"My girlfriend bet me a blow job that I couldn't go the whole day without making a period joke. I said, ""You're on."""