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Joke of the Day

"Wife's been out of town 96 hrs now & everything's gone to hell. We're all wearing patio furniture tarps & worshiping a boar head on a stick."

"Went out to dinner with a cannibal last night.. It cost me an arm and a leg"

"Why are the Irish considered lucky? It's because they're always drunk as hell."

"Sex with me is like a German opera... Not really sure what's going on, and it ends with a fat chick shouting really loudly."

"*Gandalf rollerblades into the club* ""YO DJ PLAY SOME DIRTY DUBSTE-- *slips on a drink & lands flat on face* ""SCRAP THAT CALL AN AMBULANCE"

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things Facebook changes, the courage to change the settings I can, and the wisdom to know it won't make a difference."

"How many Mexicans are needed to change a light bulb? Juan."

"What does Brokeback Mountain and the NFL have in common? The cowboys both suck."

"What is Paula Deen's favorite insect? The Butterfly"

"Some relationships today will end over a ""Like"" on Facebook."