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Joke of the Day
"""hoes before hos"" --the belief that your garden's needs should always come before your bitch's."
Next Joke
"""Sorry, but I can't sell you cigarettes. It hasn't been 18 revolutions around the sun since you descended from your mother's vagina."""
"My identical twin brother and I were both arrested this weekend. But there was a mix-up during processing. Now we are finishing each other's sentences."
"[campfire] And that's when he realized... HE FORGOT TO ENABLE WIFI AND WATCHED 5 SEASONS USING HIS DATA PLAN [everyone screams in terror]"
"How do you catch a polar bear? First dig an ice hole. Then put a whole bunch of little green peas on the outside, and when the polar bear comes to take a pee you kick him in the ice hole."
"Why can't Helen Keller Drive? She's dead."
"My parents always warned me about having sex before marriage... But somehow I'm in their wedding picture."
"Thinking it's a not a good thing when the pizza delivery guy knows my dog by name."
"Ebola You guys need to stop telling Ebola jokes. They only last about a week. (Sorry, I know Ebola is old)"
"Drug dealers are always late. If your drug dealer is on time, it's the police."