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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do you get if you cross a skunk with a boomerang? A: A nasty smell that you can't get rid of."

"I stole my friend's kidneys one night he'd be pissed, but he can't"

"A man fell into a river. Why did he refuse help? He was in The Nile"

"What do you call a soldier who survives mustard gas and pepper spray attacks? A seasoned veteran."

"I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now."

"When someone tells me how old their kid is in months, I ask them to rephrase it in days, so they know what I just went through."

"A gorilla was shot I was playing pokemon go and the next thing i knew , a gorilla was dragging me around wtf mom"

"What was Hitler's favorite breakfast cereal? Reich Crispies."

"Q: What did one candle say to the other candle? A: Are you going out tonight?"

"You know homeless people are the real progressives of this country. Always asking for change."