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Joke of the Day

"I'll always remember what my dad said right before he bought the farm. How much does this farm cost?"

"I've had insomnia so much it is starting to worry me. But I won't lose any sleep over it."

"if you dont know what do to with ur life why not just lay on the floor and think about how somewhere in the world a dolphin is backflippin"

"History of panties... 50 years ago you'd have to pull down her panties to see her ass. Today, you have to pull her ass apart, to see her panties."

"[funeral] He looks so natural. Ya, but he looks a little stiff. *raises from the dead* ""That's what... *gargle* ...she said."" *dies again*"

"What's the difference between a queer and a refrigerator? A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out!"

"Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant's toes? A: Slow clowns."

"So many good jokes on twitter today. Comparatively few reliable strategies for achieving eternal life."

"It's funny, when I walk into a spider web I demolish his home and misplace his dinner yet I still feel like the victim."

"I never thought they would make another Jurassic Park... ...But sequels, uh, find a way."