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Joke of the Day

"Why don't ants get sick? They have little antibodies"

"(NAME) is a terrific athlete. He recently ran the London Marathon he was aiming for 3 hours but just missed it! he made it in 3 hrs 150 minutes"

"What do you call that gnarly smell around cow pastures? DAIRY-AIR!"

"Get your employees to work harder by ""accidentally"" leaving articles on the printer about reducing staff."

"Q. Is it possible to kill a mother-in-law with newspaper? A. Yes if you wrap an iron in it."

"How do you get a nun pregnant? You dress her up as a choirboy."

"I just bought a new boomerang How do I get rid of the old one ?"

"If PETA is upset about Lady Gaga's meat dress, wait until they hear about what people do to that stuff in restaurant kitchens."

"I think i'm bisexual... Every time I want sex I have to buy it."

"A pirate walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""are you aware that there is a wheel in your pants?"" The pirate replies, ""AAARGGHH it's driving me nuts!"""