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Joke of the Day

"Why did the psych ward escapee never get married? He had a fear of commitment"

"I caught a computer virus once. My thumbnails fell off..."

"I promised my wife I would make her feel like a princess. She is all locked up in the tower now."

"Some dude at ASU named Dean has me on his list. Honestly, I don't appreciate or understand it. Thinking about contacting the authorities."

"The doctor told me I should stop masturbating today. So I look him straight in the eye and asked him ""why?"". And then he said something about not being able to work in these conditions."

"What do you call a car that grants wishes A Lamborgenie"

"I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my mom's bedroom. I can't believe it.. She's a superhero!"

"Dogs can't operate an MRI machine But catscan"

"*dumps Gatorade on an alligator* How does your family taste you green piece of shit"

"Log Joke A mathematician is asked what type of log do you find in the forest? He says ln(x)."