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Joke of the Day

"How many dead babies do you need to turn on the light? More than 20, because my basement is still dark."

"Why are Mexicans good at bow hunting? Because they hav-an-arrow! :D"

"Someone just caught me picking my nose at a stop light. Had to just cut my losses and run the red light."

"did you hear about the new tv crime drama? Criminal Mastermimes: the Silent Killers"

"My brother told me we ran out of protein powder I didn't believe him, so I said No Whey"

"At the Olympics a man went up to a competitor who was carrying a very long pole. ""Are you a pole vaulter?"" ""No, I'm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?"""

"Why was Karl Marx arrested for brewing a cup of Earl Grey? Because all proper tea is theft."

"Ernie's roommate asks him if he wants to go out for ice cream. Ernie refuses and proposes an alternative, but his roommate does not understand the response: Sherbert!"

"Ever been to a Canadian mosh pit? ""Oh sorry eh! Oh! Sorry! Sorry, eh? Sorry? So sorry! Oh! Oh no.... Sorry, eh?"""

"What's the best thing to do when someone close to you dies? Move seats."