11064
Joke of the Day
"What's so fragile that even mentioning it breaks it? The male ego."
Next Joke
"I like my jokes how I like my women Reposted and reused."
"I bought myself one of those ""off road vehicles"" last week... Paid $3000 for it, got it home and found out it was a Canoe!!!"
"[dinner negotiations] Wife: where do you want to go to eat? Me: ugh Wife: Me: you pick Wife: I'm craving kale Me: I'll pick"
"I have this fun drinking game where you take a drink every time you'd like one because you're an adult and you can make decisions yourself."
"The only reason I get up in the morning is so I can drink at night."
"Bought some shoes from a drug dealer... Not sure what he laced them with, but I have been trippen' all day."
"What is John Lennon's favourite donut? Strawberry Filled forever!"
"Latest news from the FIFA corruption scandal: Shock announcement from FIFA's Ethics Committee: ""FIFA has an Ethics Committee"""
"Her: Are you a dog person or a cat person? Me: ... H: ... M: ... H: Why are you hesitating? M: I'm not sure which answer will get me laid."