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Joke of the Day

"Why did the porn star end up in the E.R.? One too many blows to the head. My only original joke. I'll see myself out."

"I was the Wikipedia of my school. People expected me to help with their homework, but completely ignored my constant requests for money."

"Did you hear the one about the guy who had to go to the ER with six toy horses in his anus? They listed his condition as stable."

"How did Jared lose 40 pounds? He dumped his girlfriend"

"A blonde was swimming. She swam deeper and deeper until she drowned. Her husband came home and found her dead in the bathtub."

"What floats, is very-very heavy and carries a variety of flavours as a payload? A *Souper*tanker! Simmer on that! - I say!"

"How is Microsoft like Bob Marley? I do updates before I do updates. And then I do updates."

"My German girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale of 1-10. Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done."

"What happened when the bankrupt eastern european jumped off a building? The Czech bounced."

"Why did spider-man cross the road? To get to the *web*site !! *ba-dum-tsss*"