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Joke of the Day

"[Listening to Hungry Like the Wolf] 10yo: When did this come out? Me: Hmm...'82? 10: 19 or 18? Me:..."

"How does a blonde call for her dog? She puts two fingers in her mouth and then shouts ""Max!""."

"Neuroscientists have discovered a commonly-consumed food which nearly eliminates the female sex drive. Wedding cake."

"Hm im scared of getting murdered. better go watch 20 tv shows about murder"

"How did the english teacher know his student was pregnant? She started missing periods"

"Q: How do you circumcise a whale? A: You send down five skin divers."

"Should I ever go missing, please don't let the news use my 7th grade picture."

"Where did little Sarah go after the bombings? Everywhere"

"What does a rapper use to write their songs? Word,yo."

"The Easter Bunny doesn't always drink, but when he does it's hopscotch."