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Joke of the Day

"Q: What is the last thing a tossed salad says to itself before being devoured by a human? A: Lettuce pray"

"[taking communion at church] I'm a recovering alcoholic do you have any actual blood?"

"News: Boy George's reptile bites 5 people in one day.' He needs a calmer chameleon."

"How do you say Thanksgiving in Native American? Last Supper"

"How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? How the hell did they get inside a light bulb?"

"What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Poop, duh."

"Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree? A: Wave"

"What do you get when you mix a Mexican with an octopus? I dont know, but it sure as hell can pick apples."

"This steak is so black. . . It stole my car"

"Why do people always make such a fuss over how much a newborn weighs? It's a baby, not a stash of heroin."