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Joke of the Day

"Be nice to someone for no reason. You never know when you're going to need someone to be nice to you for no reason."""

"They say talk is cheap but my last phone call cost me $2.99 per minute, billed directly to my credit card."

"Organic Chemistry... You R-O-R get it, or you don't"

"How do you make an Asian Blind? you put a windshield in front of them"

"What do you call Watson when Sherlock isn't around? Holmeless"

"I'm 70% water and 40% bad at math."

"Why did Sarah name her pet Fawn 99 Cents? Because it wasn't big enough to be a Buck."

"Why did the Pepsi executive get fired? He tested positive for Coke."

"What did the maggot say to another ? What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this !"

"What does the average male have in common with a Velociraptor? They both have a six inch retractable claw."