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Joke of the Day
"What do you call Watson when Sherlock isn't around? Holmeless"
Next Joke
"Is anyone on Twitter named Sarah Connor? If so, where do you live? Nothing to worry about, just a simple survey for my neural net processor."
"Hey mind if I try some of your chloroform? Sure knock yourself out."
"My ex's ex and my left hand are dating."
"Screw your Twitter Crushes and Twitter Husbands and Twitter Nemeses. I want a Twitter Penguin. I want a pet penguin, but only on Twitter."
"What's an accountant's idea of trashing his hotel room? Refusing to fill out the guest comment card."
"I just heard a dried up grape won the lottery, got a supermodel girlfriend and won a brand new car. I guess everything happens for a raisin."
"I think the bloke next to me is gay. I'm trying to take a shit, but he keeps giving me looks. I'll try the next urinal."
"What's the difference between your sister and a washing machine? A washing machine only takes one load at a time."
"Doc Says: I got bad news and worst news... The test show that you have alzheimer's and Cancer.. Patient: well at least I don't have Cancer..."