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Joke of the Day

"I'll take Dumb Ideas for $300, Alex. Your Answer: sit on the ground and eat food while bugs crawl all over you What is a picnic? Correct!"

"What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Peewee Herman have in common? They were both caught with hands in their drawers."

"Cannibals probably instagram pictures of their next door neighbors."

"My ex got me arrested cause I used to sit outside her house all day. She thought I was stalking her but i wasn't, i just had her WiFi code."

"What was the buffalo's last words to his teenager as he sent him off to college? Bison"

"Me: ""I can't turn on the shower"" Plumber: ""It's seen you naked so often the excitement's gone. Try dressing up"" *Hands over shower cap*"

"4 out of 5 urologists... ...smell their apple juice before they drink it."

"Choosing between Hillary and Trump is like having to fart really bad while sitting between Scarlett Johansson and The Pope. I don't know which way to lean."

"Where do go when you are cold? - The corner it is always 90 degrees. :-)"

"If Jesus suddenly appeared today... I bet he would really hate nail guns."