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Joke of the Day

"Replacing facebook with Twitter is a bit like replacing caffeine with heroin"

"Funny how whenever I ask someone how a girl I knew is doing, the first thing they say is ""married.""nLike that's gonna stop me!"

"How did 1337 Jesus escape his tomb? (X-Post from ProgrammerHumor) He used an encrypted key."

"Yo momma is so fat Her toenails aren't painted, just redshifted"

"Just made this up... NSFW? What turned the nice teenager into a crackwhore? A dick did."

"My coworkers and I pitched in to buy Greece as a retirement gift for the boss.. We decided it was better than a $50 Applebee's gift card."

"Short joke What do you call a short person that knows Martial Arts? Midjitsu!"

"I'm a man with a very specific set of skills. Woodworking, mostly. And so help me, God, I'm going to find you and build you a bench."

"Really, iTunes? You need to update my calculator app? Have there been changes to basic math that I'm unaware of?"

"If The Dark Side Of The Moon had tracks 3 and 5 removed The album would be timeless, but there wouldn't be any money in it."