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Joke of the Day

"The doctors rushed quickly to remove the bullet which was lodged in his artery... But it turns out it was all in vain"

"My exercise is primarily jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth and pushing my luck."

"A man was fishing in the jungle. After a while another angler came to join him. ""Have you had any bites?"" asked the second man. ""Yes lots"" replied the first one ""but they were all mosquitoes."""

"Q: Where is the safest place to be during an earthquake? A: a hot air balloon #JonsSafetyTips #Safety #safetyTip #EarthquakeSafetyFacts"

"What do you call a clan for chickens? Coo clucks clan"

"What does a girl do to her as asshole before having the most crazy sex of her life? She leaves him at home"

"Nick clegg themed toilets They're full of shit"

"A German tourist walks into a pie shop on Fleet Street in London And tells the lady behind the counter, ""I would like to become a pie."" And so he did."

"[Jews being led out of Egypt] Woman: *mumbles* 40 years? He couldn't just stop & ask directions? Moses: WHO SAID THAT? NO MANNA FOR YOU!"

"Studies show that men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. Unless your wife finds out."