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Joke of the Day

"*Interviewing for waiter position* I feel like I bring a lot to the table"

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no-eye-deer"

"Hottest day ever recorded in November and my neighbor is already installing Christmas lights. So don't send me a fruitcake. Already got one."

"TIL Gerry Rafferty of Stealers Wheel is buried in the same graveyard as Ronald McDonald and Heath Ledger. He has a clown to the left of him and a joker to the right."

"If you were a triangle youd be acute one."

"How did the tugboat get AIDS? It was rear-ended by a ferry."

"Draw me like one of your French Fries."

"you are so beautiful without makeup. -my husband, after he saw i spent $62 on an eyeshadow."

"My hus thinks I'm getting up early tomorrow to go to the gym to get all sweaty. But what he doesn't know is that my ""gym"" is spelled ""Jim."""

"How many dead hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Not 6, because it's still dark down there..."