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Joke of the Day
"I may not have any friends but at least I know my cat will never ask me to help him move"
Next Joke
"Please stop telling me how long your baby is in inches. I need something more visually relatable. Oh, your baby was 3.5 hot dogs long? Cool."
"Life is like a box of chocolates .... ... It doesn't last as long for fat people."
"A is for apple B is for bear C is for candy D is for your mom"
"As a white man, I cannot celebrate Black history month, but I can celebrate Father's Day."
"*watching husband sleep* Me: ""I just love him so much, he's my everyth-"" *husband snores* Me: ""I can't live like this."""
"Why isn't having sex with a dead baby considered necrophilia? Because it was alive when you started."
"What do you call a 20 year old spaceship that whines all the time and never wants to run properly? The Millenial Falcon."
"What's black and blue and hates sex? ... a rape victim"
"Were you born on Highway 22? Because I heard alot of accidents happened there."