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Joke of the Day

"New machine at the gym There is a new machine at the gym. It's truly awesome! I almost puked after an hour, it really has it all. Cookies, chocolate bars, chips, sodas."

"You're missing the point and possibly a chromosome..."

"What did Melania Trump have on her Black Friday shopping list? A copy of everything Michelle Obama had on her list"

"What happened to the man who had a Disney character lodged up his rectum? He had the Mickey taken out of him"

"What do you get when you cross a cat and a wild boar? Revocation of your grant money and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee."

"The doctor told Harry Potter to drink 2L of Water a Day, but Harry didn't listen. Harry Potter and the Kidney Stone."

"My I.Q. goes from 125 to about 14 when there's a hot girl around."

"A pregnant pause is like a regular pause but it doesn't have a period."

"What's the difference between British crisps and foreign crisps? One are Walkers and the others just Lays around."

"The Seven Dwarfs The seven dwarfs were all in a hot tub. They were all feeling happy, then Happy got out."