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Joke of the Day

"Guys; if she stops responding to your messages for days, 100% of the time it's a technical problem. Keep trying."

"What was the slutty princess full of? Kingdom come"

"Whats the worst the thing about having to attend a funeral? The guest of honor always shows up late!"

"My father could have the original copy of the Declaration of Independence on the counter, and still make a meatball sandwich over top of it."

"So a man says to a woman, can I smell your vagina? Horrified, she slaps him and screams ""NO""! He rubs his cheek and says, ""I guess it must be your feet then."""

"What is another name for a Jewish guest? A visitorah Sorry"

"I was really hesitant about this new haircut at first.... ...but I'm starting to like it you know. It's really growing on me. Sorry I'll leave now."

"Local pharmacy robbed... Local pharmacy robbed tonight. Entire stock of Viagra taken. Police on look out for hardened criminal."

"Some women have mood swings... others have mood theme parks."

"Who is missing an egg? there are 27 people in the room but on 53 eggs, you know what that means, someone is missing an egg."