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Joke of the Day

"Hopefully George Michael was an organ donor... ... so on his last Christmas he gave someone his heart"

"Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home? A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a television."

"MOVIE LINES Don't you hate it when you have to wait in lines I wanted to see a movie the other day and the line was huge. Next time I'm going to download off the internet."

"Whenever someone tells me they like country music, I just look them in the eyes and ask ""which country?"""

"Friends are like snow flakes. If you pee on them they go away."

"I heard a joke about a grizzly giving birth to cubs... It's bears repeating."

"What's the difference between a complimentary cocktail and major brain surgery? One is a free bottle in front of me, the other is a pre-frontal lobotomy."

"Clint Eastwood walks into a bar... The barman says ""What would you like?"" And Clint Eastwood says ""A Dirty Harry"""

"My signature move is signing a piece of paper."

"I picked up a Jewish girl today, wanna know how? With a dustpan."