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Joke of the Day

"Just because I'm smiling doesn't necessarily mean that I like you. I might be picturing you on fire."

"What is the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina? Only one fifth of what comes out of her vagina is retarded."

"Studies show ""not jokes"" are coming back and are likely to be funnier than ever. Not."

"me: *lights cig* do u smoke? girl: no, cigarettes killed my father me: oh, cancer..? her: no, an army of them, gunned him down me: wait what"

"I just rinsed with mouthwash to cover up the m&ms on my breath. Being an adult is stupid."

"What do you call a hot chick in Boston? A tourist."

"To all my Atheist and Agnostic friends. T_IF!"

"I peed in an ocean, but I'm not going to tell you which one - you're going to have to take your chances."

"Fall is Pumpkin time In the south, they think its time to screw their cousins Pump kin"

"Have you heard the one about the bed? No? Then it probably hasn't been made yet."