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Joke of the Day

"[I see a cute girl reading a novel] ""Hi there. I couldn't help but notice-"" *points at book* ""That you support the murder of trees."""

"What has wheels and is green? Grass, I lied about the wheels."

"If everyone contributes a small amount of their income... Together we can pool the resources to defeat socialism."

"I told my mom I got in trouble at school today for a PDA.... She said, ""For what? Kissing your teacher's ass?"""

"Two cows and a cat were going on a trip. Cow A: Do we go this way with the cat? Cow B: The cattle go this way, we shall go the udder way."

"My friend tried to kill herself by taking 20 advil. I was very upset by this and I asked her ""Why take 20 advil when you can just take 2 aleve?"

"if youre a healthy young male or female with blood type O, please consider donating a kidney to me. my goal is 22 kidney 's"

"What did one lesbian vampire say the other? See ya next month ;)"

"Do hamburgers make good vampires? No because they always find themselves in ghoulash situations!"

"If there's Noel.... ...then could a king be born in Israel? (If there's ""No L"", how can there be a king born in ""Is-rye-L"")"