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Joke of the Day
"Turtles often outlive their owners, a fact the police refuse to treat as suspicious"
Next Joke
"The bad news is we need to downsize on people named Jeremy, so you're fired. WHAT WAS THE GOOD NEWS? India's tiger population is up 30%!"
"My 10 y/o daughter made this joke up on the way to school... What do you get when you cross Hitler with a fish? A-dolphin!"
"What did the bathtub say to the toilet? I get a lot of ass but I don't take no shit"
"Asking a girl to the barbecue. Me: ""You going to the barbecue?"" Her: ""What barbecue?"" Me: ""The one where I stick my meat on your grill."""
"What do you call a Japanese boy who just got beat by his dad after getting got masterbating? A fap happy jappy with a slap happy pappy."
"""You had a bad day? Let me fix that by simply existing."" -puppies"
"Six inches of snow predicted tonight: Is that twitter 6"" | | Subway 6"" | | Real life 6"" | | Or Dan 6"" | | Cheesecake"
"I gave my dad a two handed high-five once when I was 10. I had to spend the next 12 years convincing him I wasn't gay."
"Funny one liner if the purpose of technology is to make our lives easier, then i need a ""voice-based-auto-adjustable-underwear""."