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Joke of the Day

"You know the punchline before you're ever told the joke. What's the worst part about time traveling jokes?"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't fuckin know, maybe if you didn't run him over we could ask him."

"I'm a carbie girl in a barbie world."

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of its paws, while a comma is a pause at the end of a clause."

"Obi-wan: You look different. Vader: You left me burning alive in lava with no arms and legs. Obi-wan: I thought maybe you got a haircut."

"*yells from space* Did you kill that spider?!"

"Drugs are not a solution! Until you mix them with water"

"A man comes home... ... To his wife repotting cactuses and succulents ""Allo Vera"""

"TIFU by hiring a footlong sandwich as a replacement teacher. Oops, wrong sub."

"Whats so great about banging 26 year olds? There's 20 of em"