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Joke of the Day

"My buddy has a telescope but I don't think he uses it for astronomy. I asked what his favourite constellation was and he said, ""Samantha""."

"I've been reading a book about anti gravity I just can't put it down!"

"What famous actor is like a jail cell full of white guys? Niggaless Cage (My girlfriend came up with this today. We're not racist I swear. This just cracked me up.)"

"What do you call a dancing cow? A milkshake"

"What is the difference between a garbanzo beans and a chickpea? I would never let a garbanzo bean in my mouth."

"Female Masturbation My woman told me that she would never play with her self when she was on her period. . But I caught her red handed !!"

"You can tell a lot about a woman by how she slices brownies. For example: if she throws the knife at you, you should pick up some midol."

"I had a Crazy Dream Wait for dreams to come up in conversation. I had a crazy dream last night. I drempt I was a muffler... and when i woke up I was exhausted."

"I farted in a room of hipsters I watched them fight each other over who heard it first."

"What did the German physicist use to drink his beer? Ein stein. - From Big Nate, as told by my kid."