108279

Joke of the Day

"My buddy has a telescope but I don't think he uses it for astronomy. I asked what his favourite constellation was and he said, ""Samantha""."

"What font is alphabet soup produced in? Times New Ramen"

"A dan walked into a barr. And Roseanne said watch where you are going!"

"My mom recently figured out that the best way to get me to call her back right away is to text me that someone died but not tell me who."

"What is brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre"

"I wrote a book about a man that chokes to death on his own fart. I've called it: ""Gone With The Wind""."

"My wife's posted picture she took of me in the shower didn't go viral... Ain't no big thing."

"I identify as a Skywalker I guess you could call me Anakin."

"Write a suicide note on Facebook and they try to talk you out of it. Write a suicide note on Twitter and they correct your grammar."

"Why is it so hot in a stadium after the game is over? Because all the fans left..."